Your child custody case will be one of the most stressful times in your life, for you, as well as for your children. It can also be a very lengthy and expensive process. You will never fight so hard for anything, as you will for your children. This is why the absolute worst will come out in parties in this type of litigation. Prepare yourself for what to expect during your case, and educate yourself on what you need to do to win custody of your children.
Hire an Attorney Who Specializes in Family Law
The very first thing you need to do is hire an attorney. You do not need to bargain shop for an attorney. Do your research. Call the Clerk's office of your local family court, and ask which attorneys in your area practice most often in that court. Ask friends which attorneys they recommend.
Once you've determined the top attorneys specializing in child custody in your area, make an appointment to meet with all of them. Even if you are satisfied with the first, meet with all of them. The reason for this is, and this should be your secret, it is an ethical conflict for an attorney to represent the other party when they have specific knowledge from you about the case, that maybe to your disadvantage. Therefore, in other words, you are eliminating the competition.
Before choosing which attorney you want to represent you, make sure they have a fully functional and competent support staff. It is nearly impossible speak with your attorney on the phone or in person every time you have a question or an issue arises. They have other clients they are representing at the same time and spend many days in court. If the attorney has a good paralegal, she will be able to assist, in the attorney's absence, with an issue which may arise or answer any questions.
Be completely honest with your attorney. Attorneys are bound by "attorney client privilege" and will not divulge any information you've given. Tell your attorney any conduct on the behalf of the other parent which may effect their parenting abilities, especially any information relating to abuse, neglect or immoral conduct. You also want to let your attorney know any information that maybe provided by the other parent about you, in order that your attorney will be prepared as to how to address those issues if they arise. Relate to your attorney all the duties of which you are responsible as a parent.
Expert Witnesses
Discuss with your attorney any need for expert witnesses, such as psychologists, social workers and/or investigators. Spare no expense in this area.
You may need an investigator in the event that the other parent is conducting themselves in an immoral nature, such as overnight guests of the opposite sex while the children are present in the home, regularly partying, or exhibiting an unhealthy or unstable lifestyle that can be captured by an investigator. This testimony will be more credible in court than your own. Investigators will also provide documentary evidence for the record.
Because a child under the age of 12 will most often not be allowed to testify, nor would you want them to, Psychologists are extremely important in this situation. All the information your child will innocently relate to you during this time cannot be used by you. The court will not allow "hear say". Attempting to state in court what your child said is "hear say". However, a psychologist's opinion based on what you and the child relates is admissible. There are psychologists for any age child, even play therapy for toddlers. These psychologist call testify as to your parenting abilities and how well you and the child relate.
Document Everything
During this time you need to keep a calendar wherein you keep notes on dates of events that take place. In your own handwriting, notes taken down at the time of the event, are considered documentary evidence and are admissible into the record. Additionally, it is easy to rebut testimony of the other parent regarding their allegations when you have the specifics documented. Additionally, when the other parent is unable to give the specifics of certain events and you can, you appear more credible to the court.
Record Everything
Purchase an adaptor for your telephone to connect to a recorder. You need to check your state laws, to make sure it is legal. Federal law states as long as one person on the call (that would be you) is aware the call is being recorded, it is legal.
Record all phone conversations between you and the other party, not calls between the other parent and the children. Of course, you don't want to let the other party ever know they are being recorded. The other parent will be less likely to lie on the stand if they know you can prove it, so keep that information between you and your attorney. These conversations can be very important later. Save all your tapes and transcribe them all approaching trial preparation. Your attorney will find them very useful.
Purchase a mini recorder for your pocket. Keep it with you to record in your pocket while the children are being exchanged, or anytime the other parent is around. You never know what maybe said.
During custody cases, parents act very different in front of each other than they do with their attorneys and in front of the judge. Recording everything gives you the evidence that will present the other parent in a different light if the opportunity arises, such as in rebuttal. If they lie on the stand and you have a recording of the truth, that will be a terrible blow to the opposition.
How to Conduct Yourself
You should conduct yourself at all times, as you would if the judge was standing next to you. In every conversation with the other parent, you should be polite and no matter which buttons are pushed, picture the judge sitting next to you.
You should attend every school function and extra-curricular activity. Make it a point to eat lunch at school with your child at least once a month. Attend church regularly with your child. The preacher, teacher and the baseball coach will make great witnesses.
Be very careful about dating during this time, as well as to whom you expose the children. Don't do anything you wouldn't want the judge to see, or say anything you would want the judge to hear. You should assume you are being recorded at all times, because you maybe. You should also assume the other parent's attorney has hired an investigator as well.
Facilitate the Parent/Child Relationship
Do not interfere with the relationship between the child and the other parent, as well as their family. Continue to support those relationships. The court will consider which parent is more able to facilitate the relationship with the other parent. Don't ever withhold time with the child from the other parent for any reason, especially money or bills.
Should you follow this advise and conduct yourself appropriately, you will give your attorney everything they need to win your child custody case.
Sources:
Richards on Tennessee Family Law, Third Edition
Tennessee Code Annotated
Robin Stanfill - I am a paralegal and writer specializing in legal and crime and justice topics. I have published many law related articles in web-based ...
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